We Are Chameleons

She was never one to raise her voice. In fact, she was the "calm one" — always careful with her words, always seeking peace and eager to be helpful.

Yet, a few years into a verbal and emotionally abusive relationship, she noticed a shift. She found herself snapping, defensive and impatient; ready to throw back any hurtful words spoken to her.

One day, after a particularly heated exchange, she sat alone wondering: "Who am I becoming? This isn’t me."

The truth is, we are chameleons. Not in the sense of being fake or insincere, but in the simple reality that we are different versions of ourselves depending on who we are with.

The person you are with your friends — laughing loudly, perhaps a bit reckless  — is not exactly the same person you are with your boss, where professionalism and restraint are necessary.

With your lover, you are vulnerable. With your siblings, playful. With your parents, dutiful or deferential.

Even though we carry the same core identity, the familiarity, respect, expectations, and dynamics of each relationship pull different sides of us to the surface. And that's normal.

The science behind the chameleon perfectly mirrors this truth.

Chameleons don’t just change color to blend in — they do so based on external factors like temperature, light, mood, and environment. Specialized cells called chromatophores under their skin contain layers of pigments. By expanding or contracting these cells, chameleons shift the way light reflects off their skin, resulting in a visible color change. In other words the pigment cells mimic or blend with the environment. (I had to read this up )

It’s not random; it’s a direct response to their surroundings. Just like us.

This is why our environment and associations matter so deeply (take this seriously)

You might think you can remain unaffected, but the people and spaces you surround yourself with have the power to change you — slowly, subtly, and sometimes completely. Toxicity breeds toxicity. Kindness fosters kindness.

Who we become is often a reflection of what we absorb.

Guard your environment. Choose your associations wisely. Surround yourself with people and spaces that nurture the best version of you.

"You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with."

— Jim Rohn

WHO ARE YOUR FIVE PEOPLE?